Sunday, March 21, 2010
The Short Con…
Ok, the other dogs were perturbed that I wrote a blog devoted to Molly’s badness and missed out on their incredible efforts to run my life.
So, here goes!
We will start with Chief, mainly because he keeps glaring at me and using his mind-control powers to have me always acknowledge him as my #1.
Oh, wait, that’s one of his badness..es!
You see, he doesn’t go for the long con (because quite frankly he doesn’t have to put that much energy into getting what he wants).
For most things, he just puts on what we like to call the ‘shivers.’ He wants picked up? He shivers. He wants dinner, shiver. He wants me to put down Princess and pet him… you guessed it ‘shivers.’
I mean how can you deny a 2 pound Chi with no body fat and flat haircoat when he is shivering to death? (no matter its 90 degrees)
And on the table scrap side? He knows I would never willing give him any food off my plate.
But every night he wiggles his way into my lap while I’m eating and just happens to catch any food that drops from my plate.
Molly’s long con? A bite every few weeks to months. His method? Sweet, sweet tidbits each and every night!
Now Princess, her badness is all about the angles. She works ‘em. What is the exact position that is equidistant between the two food bowls?
Princess will find it, then lay in wait for any dog to cross her path, then WHAM! She strikes like a cobra and growls like a lion.
She is also an opportunist. Mom looking the other way? Cat around the corner, KAPOW, she’s off like a cheetah. Then when you yell at her, she comes back…”What? I wasn’t doing anything bad (in my opinion)!”
Linus? Well, his badness is in the fact he simply can’t sit still. He’s more of a pinball wizard than a mastermind.
And Orlin? He has no plan, my angelic, boy. Oh, he does bad, but usually at the behest of the long con girl. Need a distraction? Orlin will provide! Need a hole dug? He’s your guy.
The only problem is, when you find him being bad and ask him why he did it, he’ll look to the one that put him up to it.
So he’s a great henchmen as long as you don’t mind being squealed on ☺
I’m sure there’s more badness in here somewhere (like Princess’s trick to hide under the covers right where the other dogs jump up so she can attack them), but that’s for another blog!
Wishing you less criminal dogs than mine!