Life on the Beach...

Is great.

Well... except for the fact that my dogs aren't all that fond of the water. And they could really do without the whole 'sand' thing.

Did I mention what adventurers they are? I mean, what dogs don't like the beach?

Um, apparently mine.

Don't get me wrong, they are happy as clams (no pun intended :-). Because I mean, come on, right on the other side of the fence is a dog beach.

Dozens of dogs all day long, every day for the pack to get completely angry at and bark until Mommy stops them.

How awesome is that? And for Princess it is a cavalcade of serial killers, each one scared off my her ferocious bark (and of course, Chief's squeak).

So far we have only been able to take the 'Bigs' on an actual walk on the beach. Technically the "Littles" have been on a walk, but their tiny paws never actually hit the sand.

Both Princess and Chief just freeze and shiver if you try to make them walk on that evil, evil, shifting stuff Mommy calls 'just sand, you dorks."

So the "Littles" go for what we like to call a "carry."

Mommy has Chief inside her bra #duh and Auntie has Princess on her shoulder.

I am sure we are the talk of the neighborhood (and you know that's exactly what we were shooting for #not).

"Hey do you know those two weird women at the end of the lane that carry half their dogs down the beach and the other half run away from the water?"

Yep, that us. The pack that never quite fits in! #anywhere #anytime

Remember, Mommy has written a mystery novel about serial killers. Which might seem odd, but then remember Princess' obsession with them and it becomes a little more clear! :-)

You can watch the trailer, listen to the audio excerpt, and even read up to 50 pages before you buy! Follow the link here: http://bit.ly/b60jVe and here is a 50% off coupon as well! RH88E

Thanks so much and we will see you next week!

Top 50 Dog Tweet!!!!!!!!

No, wait. It was the #47the Best Dog Tweet!

That pretty much rocked our world. I mean, the pack knew they were awesome, but to get over 3,000 votes? Holy cow!

All kidding aside, I'm not sure what the dogs and I are going to do every 20 minutes! LOL

I mean, obviously they don't understand (well, at least Linus doesn't) the concept of the bigger win here, but what they saw was Mommy several times an hour stopping what she was doing and praising them, and stopping and petting them, and generally all of us having a grand time.

If we went up, there were shouts and cheers and lots of kisses. If we went down, there were consolatory snuggles and smooches.

And let me tell you, they worked it!. If I was a single MINUTE late, Chief would put his paw out of his pink fuzzy blanket Igloo and tap me. Princess would come over and set up near my hand, in anticipation of the vote.

The Bigs even made sure they were napping at the right angle to see screen and share in the fun (without, you know, Orlin having to get up or anything).

So I just wanted to take this time and officially thank EVERYONE who voted! And especially @francinemhaas for nominating us in the first place!

It not got us into the Top 50, but brought me and the pack closer together (and got my Roomie to Tweet, so ya!!!!!).

Since Mommy has to earn money for dog food, we are going to take a couple of months off the contest, but we are planning on rejoining in July!

A nice long summer month to break into that Top 25!!!

Again thanks for supporting Pups :-)

Humans Have It All Wrong...

That whole sleep for 8 hours then WORK for 16?

Crazy talk!!!

Look how much the pack gets done...
Keeps a bird-free air space around the entire property
Monitors and deters serial killers 24/7 (not a single one yet to get in)
Notices and barks at any dog on the beach
Gets Mommy to pet them whenever they want.

And all that work and they do it being awake 3 or at MAX 4 hours a day!

Talk about efficiency! What you are you humans doing anyway for those 12 hours a day?

Instead of Olympics with ppl runnning and skating and jumping, they should have nap-offs. Or cute-ness offs (many times won by a napper).

Think of how much simpler everyone's lives would be if you just flip-flopped those sleep to awake hours!

Ugh, this blog took a lot out of them... obviously.

#timeforanothernap #14hoursofsleepandcounting

My Dogs Are Pro-Union!

As long as that union is made up of trouble-makers!

Each and every day I am shocked at how much trouble my four little angels (Chief was watching as I wrote that otherwise I would have written 'devils') can get into!

And they are coordinated. I'm not sure if they actually mean to help each other out, but tag-teaming Mommy is an hourly event.

Want an example? I'll give you an example!

I go to take the dogs out for their potty break. Simple, right? #notsomuch

I've got Chief in my jacket, so you'd think he couldn't get into trouble, but usually he starts it.

He'll squirm or heaven forbid squeal (randomly if he doesn't like how he is tucked inside my shirt).

Of course I must attend to his every need so I take my eyes off the rest of the pack to find out what has inconvenienced Chief this time.

As if their watches were coordinated, Princess runs off into my Roomie's bedroom to chase a cat, Orlin heads for the bathroom trash, and Molly sprints down the hallway to check out the kitchen for tidbits on the floor.

There's much yelling, then cooing to Chief, then yelling at the rest of the pack, but NO ONE is coming back.

I head to get Princess before she annoys the cats (remember she's 5 pounds they are between 9 and 22lbs so she's no threat just a massive pain in their booty).

She comes running out with that, "What? I didn't do anything" look.

Next, to get Orlin out of the bathroom. Now he really is going deaf (and not surprisingly is the most deaf to the words "Orlin, Come!") so I have to physically touch him to get him to notice me.

The whole while I am stomping my foot, calling Molly, who hauls her booty around the corner before I can catch her in the act (she, of course, has that 'I was just making sure the kitchen was properly secured for the rest of animals safety' excuse going on)

Great, now we can head --

Princess snarks at Orlin (mainly for just breathing, you know her), I turn to address this new frackus and Molly somehow slips past me into the cat room to check the litter boxes!

"Molly!!!!!!!!!" a stomp. "Don't you make me come --"

Chief squirms. Princess notices a cat on the china cabinet and makes a sprint and Orlin gets confused and goes back in our room.

#Oy #yohyoh

And guess what? They need out again!

#willnevergetanythinelsedone!

The Short Con…

Ok, the other dogs were perturbed that I wrote a blog devoted to Molly’s badness and missed out on their incredible efforts to run my life.

So, here goes!

We will start with Chief, mainly because he keeps glaring at me and using his mind-control powers to have me always acknowledge him as my #1.

Oh, wait, that’s one of his badness..es!

You see, he doesn’t go for the long con (because quite frankly he doesn’t have to put that much energy into getting what he wants).

For most things, he just puts on what we like to call the ‘shivers.’ He wants picked up? He shivers. He wants dinner, shiver. He wants me to put down Princess and pet him… you guessed it ‘shivers.’

I mean how can you deny a 2 pound Chi with no body fat and flat haircoat when he is shivering to death? (no matter its 90 degrees)

And on the table scrap side? He knows I would never willing give him any food off my plate.

But every night he wiggles his way into my lap while I’m eating and just happens to catch any food that drops from my plate.

Molly’s long con? A bite every few weeks to months. His method? Sweet, sweet tidbits each and every night!

Now Princess, her badness is all about the angles. She works ‘em. What is the exact position that is equidistant between the two food bowls?

Princess will find it, then lay in wait for any dog to cross her path, then WHAM! She strikes like a cobra and growls like a lion.

She is also an opportunist. Mom looking the other way? Cat around the corner, KAPOW, she’s off like a cheetah. Then when you yell at her, she comes back…”What? I wasn’t doing anything bad (in my opinion)!”

Linus? Well, his badness is in the fact he simply can’t sit still. He’s more of a pinball wizard than a mastermind.

And Orlin? He has no plan, my angelic, boy. Oh, he does bad, but usually at the behest of the long con girl. Need a distraction? Orlin will provide! Need a hole dug? He’s your guy.

The only problem is, when you find him being bad and ask him why he did it, he’ll look to the one that put him up to it.

So he’s a great henchmen as long as you don’t mind being squealed on ☺

I’m sure there’s more badness in here somewhere (like Princess’s trick to hide under the covers right where the other dogs jump up so she can attack them), but that’s for another blog!

Wishing you less criminal dogs than mine!

The Long Con

I know I talk a lot about the little ones. All their naughtiness. All their cuteness. And usually when you hear about Molly, you HEAR about her since she barks as frequently and as loudly as possible.

So it is easy to miss her quieter, sneakier side.

You see she goes for the 'long con.' She's not a Snatch and Grabber. Oh no, her badness is planned out over hours at a time (although she is pretty quick on her feet as well, but that's for another blog).

The perfect example was one day I forgot that I lived with Molly and put my left-overs down on the side table (rather than getting up imediately and putting them in refrigerator) for 2 hours.

Now this whole time, Molly has been 'sleeping.' 'Sound" asleep as a matter of fact. Oblivious to the world. The cat walked by, nothing. The television blared, she snoozed away.

Then time for a Mommy potty break. I got up (plate long forgotten) and went to walk away.

Luckily Orlin (who knows nothing of fine art of the long con), jumped up into my chair and went for the food.

Now Molly didn't go after the food, she snarked at Orlin!
"What do you think you are doing you moron!"
He had ruined a perfectly good 2 hour long bluff. She KNEW the food was there. She was waiting until I FORGOT the food was there.

I can't tell you how many times we have accidentally left 1 grocery bag on the floor (you know the one - with all the pantry items that you'll put away 'later') and hours upon hours in the evening you leave the dogs alone for a single second and come back to find both Molly and the grocery bag long gone.

She is also super sneaky about it. Orlin will just try to grab stuff and wolf if down. Molly knows that ya gotta get the heck out of Dodge with your bounty, then eat in peace.

The rule of thumb in our house is... If you don't see Molly, you better check behind the couch and figure out which food you left out.

So don't be fooled by picture above. Molly may look sweet yet is so very, very devious!

This pack may not play, but they work (it)…

As I was discussing with my pack how weird it is that they don’t play (and if this is your first time to my blog… yes, indeed I do have entire discussions with my dogs – get used to it! :-)

When I decided to blog about their lack of play-age, they wanted to make sure that
they didn’t come across as lazy.

You see, to them, they are the hardest working pack out there. Who has time to chase a stick? Or catch a silly ball?

Molly is, pretty much single-handedly, holding back the Evil Squirrel Nation that is bent on destroying democracy as we know it.

Orlin maintains a vigorous ‘No-Fly’ zone around our house, keeping all birds and planes at a safe distance.

Princess, well, Princess is on the constant look at for serial killers. She pretty much bites first and asks… Well, she never really asks questions, she just bites.

And Chief? Chief is busy trying to control the entire universe with his mind. His tiny, tiny Chihuahua mind. Do you know how hard it is to wake up China with an itty-bitty brain? He does not have TIME to mind, darned it! He is concentrating on world peace!

But wait, you say. They look sound asleep, draped over the bed right now?

Obviously they are taking a ‘Power” nap, duh!